Family

In India everyone is a brother, a sister, an uncle, auntie, mommy or daddy. Everyone is a family member even people you have met only once. This idea explains so much of the culture. You treat every person as if they were your own brother, your own sister or your own mom or dad. At first I was very put off by this idea. I thought that it was strange to call random people your sister and people who were not my parents mom and dad. In my culture those bonds are so sacred that it should only be used for people who you sincerely love like your family. I tried to abstain from using these titles as much as I could because I felt extremely uncomfortable. For the first week I avoided calling anyone by their names at all and just tapped them on the shoulder when I wanted their attention (and Indian names are almost impossible to remember).  In my American thinking I believed that it was wrong of people to call others by such affectionate names when they did not mean it. I thought that all of their invites and small talk were superficial and they were only interested in me because I am foreign (Which is partially true), but Indians sincerely love everyone like their family. They have grown up with the concept. This concept is even in their pledge every morning.  Complete strangers will go out of their way to help you.  People you just met will tell you to “Come home” as if their home is your home ^^. If you tell someone you like their earrings they will take them out on the spot and insist that you take them. I am sure if India did not have such extreme restrictions on clothing they would literally take their shirt off of their back and give it to you.  What is theirs is yours and they love to share with you. This is an extremely hard concept for Western people to embrace. I had a hard time at first with this because in America I am used to much more personal space. I could do what I wanted basically when I wanted. I was in complete control of my decisions, but here people take care of you. That is not bad, but I was extremely uncomfortable with the idea. Even for America I am overly independent.  In India mothers still hold your hand when you cross the street and brush your hair for you. Like I said it is not wrong it is just different, VERY DIFFERENT! Now I think that it is a nice gesture, but this caused a lot of frustration at first. There is also a huge difference in personal space.  People will take things without asking, try food off of your plate and rearrange your things the way that THEY want it. They do not do these things because they are rude but because they expect you to do the same to them. It is also rude to say please and thank you. Saying please and thank you in the West is basically a reflex, but when you say it to someone in India they give you a very strange look and I think they feel slightly offended. My friend explained to me that people find it rude because you are supposed to expect people to do things for you without question because you are “family”. Saying thank you makes them feel that you are uncomfortable and Indians want to be family with everyone. I feel rude not saying it but that is completely ethnocentric. By American standards India is a very overbearing and invasive culture. Every rebound complained about that, I completely understand why they feel that way, but I think that they did not fully embrace the culture. In America I would have been upset by many of the things that happen here too, but I am not in America…..I am in India! I have not completely embraced this concept yet, and sometimes it gets to me a little, but I am so warmed by how pure their intentions are.