Decisions Decisions!

I now have to choose my return date. I am so conflicted about this. I think I will come back for my graduation on June 1^st but that is so soon! Now my schedule is very busy. I am going on my North Tour from February 11^th until Mach 1^st and then two days later I leave for another week for a tour of Gujarat (my state). For two weeks of April I am going on a trip with my best friend and her family to Kolkata. Then for one week in May I am visiting Thailand for a Rotary convention and then a week and a half later I am thinking about leaving! That really only leaves March for me to do things in Surat with my college! I feel like I haven’t learned half of the things that I needed to! I don’t have yoga, dance, I haven’t gotten my future read and I am HORRIBLE with the language. I still feel like there is so much left here for me, but I think no matter how much time I have here I will always feel this way. I will never feel that I am finished here. The important thing for me to remember is that I did not come here to learn about yoga, mendhai or astrology. I came here to learn about myself. I made a million mistakes here. My year was far from perfect. I don’t have perfect relations with all of my families. I cannot communicate on a basic level with Hindi or Gujarati, and I still know very little about Indian religions. But when I think back to the first couple of months when it was too difficult for me to cross the street and I cried almost every day  because I was being harassed by men on the street I can see how far I have come and how much I have changed. If I had to go home tomorrow I will still say that I had a successful exchange. I would not change any mistake I made because those mistakes made me who I am. I am so proud of the woman I have become here. I will forget about mendhai and dance within a year but India will have everlasting effects on my character. My exchange doesn’t really end when I leave India. I will always be an exchange student. I will draw observations from this year for the rest of my life. Readjustment to American culture is a vital part of the exchange too, and it’s difficult. I am as nervous to return as I was to come here. It’s like I can never go home again. My home is the same, but I am very different. After everything I did this year I know that I can handle anything life throws at me. I am ready for the challenge! But it’s not time for this yet! I still have 4 months left! It’s time to live it up! I am still designing things in my college and I still have all of India to travel! This is no time for tears! I’ve got a life to live! Jai Shree Krishna