Monday, February 6, 2012

Wedding Part II


Indian weddings are very difficult to describe because the procedures are drastically different depending on the caste and sub-caste of the couple. It is also depends on if one is partaking in the ceremonies of the bride or the groom. The wedding I went to was on the groom’s side. My Rotary president took two other exchange students and I along with him which is very kind. My president Ashish Uncle was the mama (brother of the groom’s mom) and therefore he had some special ceremonies in the wedding which I will explain later. This was fantastic because for 5 days Anna Camille and I stayed in the same house and did everything together all day J I really cannot imagine leaving them in 3 months.

Day 2- Mendhai and Dandya Ras

Mendhai is what most of you know as henna. For the wedding ceremonies the immediate female family members of both the bride and the groom need elaborate mendhai. On this day ten or eleven mendhai “professionals” come to the house of both the bride and groom for the morning until the afternoon to put on mendhai for the family members which included me!

                At night was the real celebration. Dandya Ras is a traditional Indian dance party. All of the family and friends gather outside the groom’s house and throw a “party”. There is a band playing traditional garbha songs and everyone plays. I love how Indians say that they play garba and not “dance” garbha, but it is fitting because they appear like they are playing.  Garbha is the same dance that is done at Navratri which I posted about back in October. There is also dandya (the dance where people hit sticks together) and BOLLYWOOD!!! I am in love with Bollywood music and Bollywood dancing. There is no match for the unique energy Bollywood music brings. I think that Bollywood music should be more popular throughout the world. It was the basic eating and dancing but it was very fun. I love learning how to dance like Indians do because they are crazy good dancers. The only deeper significance of this day is that this day is supposed to kick off the festive atmosphere.

Day 3- Lagan Git

Lagan means wedding and Git means song. On this night the family gathered together to perform wedding and family themed songs for the couple. The wedding couple also performs some songs. Most of the acts are very comical and it is just for fun. In a strange turn of events Camille, Anna, Devu and I also performed a dance. Indian people LOVE when foreigners do Indian things so the day before they asked us to perform something. Luckily we have learned a few dances together for a Rotary Conference. Our song had absolutely nothing to do with a wedding or family but just the fact that we tried means a lot to Indian people and they are happy with anything we do. We performed Chikini Chemmele which is about a girl going to a club to get money and alcohol, and we performed Chammak Chalo which is Akon purposing for some girl to be his sexy little dancer. They were both very sexy and a little like belly dancing, so we felt very strange to wildly swing our hips in front of a crowd of predominately 80 year old old-fashioned Indian people. It was a very strange experience to belly dance for a hundred elderly Indians but it is a good memory. People really enjoyed it and asked us to do it again so we must not have offended anyone too much. It was definitely one of the more awkward things that I’ve done, but it’s an experience and that’s what I came here for!

Day 4- Ganesh Sthapna and wedding ceremony!!!

The first ceremony of this day is in the morning. The mama (mom’s brother) on both sides wake up the bride and groom early in the morning to perform Pithi. Pithi means the family covers the bride or groom to be with turmeric. Turmeric is supposed to give the skin a beautiful glow for the wedding day. I am not sure it works but it makes the bride and groom look like oompa lompas and therefore it is great fun.

The next big ceremony is Ganesh Sthapna.  It is a Ganesh pooja (prayer) that invites Ganesh to the wedding because Ganesh is supposed to be a part of anything that is good or happy. Inside this pooja (prayer) there is another pooja called Grashanta. Grasanta is the pooja to bring peace to the house the newlyweds will stay in. Grashanta literally translates to house peace.

As part of the Grashata pooja the mama (mom’s brother) gives the bride and groom the clothes that they will wear for the wedding. In more traditional times the mama chose the clothes for the wedding but now the bride and groom choose their clothes and then give it to the mama to present to them on this day.

LAGAN!!!!!! (The wedding ceremony)

The wedding party meet the groom at his house put him in a horse and carriage and then dance their way to the wedding destination. This ceremony is specific to only the groom’s side. My friends and I got to participate in this and it was very fun. I have seen many of these processions that are very awkward looking because everyone is in front of the beautiful horse and carriage and there are speakers blaring music but no one is dancing. Usually there is that one person at the front who tries to energize the crowd but it doesn’t work, but the one I was at was very lively. Everyone was dancing and bursting fireworks. When the groom arrives at the ceremony he is carried out of his carriage by all of his friends and then there is some more dancing. I have heard that at many weddings there is a tradition where the bride’s family who is already at the wedding is not supposed to allow the groom’s family to enter the ceremony grounds. In the very traditional days the bride’s family made the groom’s family pay before they were allowed inside. However at this wedding it did not happen. The bride and groom enter the ceremony together but the groom has more special traditions. The mother of the bride symbolically tries to blow the groom’s nose and the groom’s family is not supposed to let her. This supposed to be the groom’s family telling the bride’s family that their son is not part of her family. I think most people are aware that after marriage the girl is no longer part of her family. She has no duty to her natural parents anymore. This is the main reason why there is still a horrible problem with baby girls being murdered by their family. This is very not common among the upper class but it is still normal in the economically depressed. This is why it is illegal to have a doctor tell an expecting mother the sex of her baby. In this ceremony it is a fun thing, but the original meaning is very negative. After this ceremony the bride and groom are ushered onto the stage to perform the ceremony by the priest.  A priest makes a special fire on stage and the couple walks around it seven times while the priest chants in Sanskrit. It is our equivalent to “Do you take your pride to have and to hold through better and worse…..” No one is aware what the translation from Sanskrit is. The groom put a Mangal Sutva on the bride which is a necklace to signify the bride’s marital status.  The groom then puts sindur powder in the bride’s hairline which is another symbol of marital status. Women are supposed to continue to put this sindur powder every day, but few do. The last ceremony is Hast Melap. Hast means hand and melap mens meeting. There is a cloth over the bride and groom’s hands and they hold hands for the first time. I am sure in modern times it is not the first time they touched, but by traditional standards the bride and groom were not supposed to touch before they were married. The cloth is put over the hands because long ago it was unacceptable to see a man and a woman holding hands. After this all the ceremonies are complete and the couple is married!

This is Devu my best Indian friend whom I would be lost without playing Dandya :) 
Our mendhai!
Pithi
also Pithi
dancing in the street before the wedding
the mother of the bride blowing the groom's nose.

the wedding couple

the reception party workers. They were so beautiful!
I look like a giant in India :P
This is how the food for the wedding is prepared.



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