My Schedule.

Let me lay out my last three months here. This Saturday I leave for 15 days for my Rotary Tour through Northern India. I come back March 1^st and either the first or second week of March we leave again for 6 days on a self-organized tour of Gujarat (my state). Then I learn everything I can in my college until April 6^th. On April 7^th I leave with my best friend Camille and her family to Kolkata for two weeks. We come back on April 23^rd and within the next week all the exchange students gather together for the last time to say goodbye. Most exchange students leave mid to late May. I leave somewhere between May 20^th and June 1^st. On May 6^th to May 14^th I go to Bangkok Thailand for the International Rotary Conference (AKA I am going to roam Bangkok with all the other exchange students). Then I pack up and go back to USA. There is no more time for me to start new things. I have to finish everything I started. My feelings are extremely mixed right now. I think I have really embraced the cliché “Change is the only constant in life”. I have been going from house to house living in a suitcase travelling everywhere for one year. Sad is not the word I would use to describe about me leaving India. It’s not because I don’t like India but I really feel like it’s time for me to come home.  I did everything I should have with my time here and I will treasure my time here forever. I can never forget India but times change and my India chapter is done. There is nothing sad about this India experience being done. It was the most beautiful thing that I have done, but life has to move on.  My life does not end after India is done. When I go back I will have graduation, my old job and FAMILY! If there is one thing I learned here in Asia it is how to adjust to ANYTHING and to learn to be happy in any situation. Life happens on exchange and out of it. I will yet again face adversity when I go back, but I will adjust and make the best of it. This is what life is about! Life will never work out the way you want it to, but you have to learn to not fight against. Besides I know that I will come back to India someday :)

“It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change.”-Charles Darwin

So I was actually writing to tell you all that you might not hear from me on my blog for a while. I will be pretty busy. I do not know when I can post again but it will definitely be before June 1^st. hahahahaha. Check back in the middle of March!

Much love from India <3 Jai Shree Krishna.

Wedding Part II

Indian weddings are very difficult to describe because the procedures are drastically different depending on the caste and sub-caste of the couple. It is also depends on if one is partaking in the ceremonies of the bride or the groom. The wedding I went to was on the groom’s side. My Rotary president took two other exchange students and I along with him which is very kind. My president Ashish Uncle was the mama (brother of the groom’s mom) and therefore he had some special ceremonies in the wedding which I will explain later. This was fantastic because for 5 days Anna Camille and I stayed in the same house and did everything together all day J I really cannot imagine leaving them in 3 months.

Day 2- Mendhai and Dandya Ras

Mendhai is what most of you know as henna. For the wedding ceremonies the immediate female family members of both the bride and the groom need elaborate mendhai. On this day ten or eleven mendhai “professionals” come to the house of both the bride and groom for the morning until the afternoon to put on mendhai for the family members which included me!

                At night was the real celebration. Dandya Ras is a traditional Indian dance party. All of the family and friends gather outside the groom’s house and throw a “party”. There is a band playing traditional garbha songs and everyone plays. I love how Indians say that they play garba and not “dance” garbha, but it is fitting because they appear like they are playing.  Garbha is the same dance that is done at Navratri which I posted about back in October. There is also dandya (the dance where people hit sticks together) and BOLLYWOOD!!! I am in love with Bollywood music and Bollywood dancing. There is no match for the unique energy Bollywood music brings. I think that Bollywood music should be more popular throughout the world. It was the basic eating and dancing but it was very fun. I love learning how to dance like Indians do because they are crazy good dancers. The only deeper significance of this day is that this day is supposed to kick off the festive atmosphere.

Day 3- Lagan Git

Lagan means wedding and Git means song. On this night the family gathered together to perform wedding and family themed songs for the couple. The wedding couple also performs some songs. Most of the acts are very comical and it is just for fun. In a strange turn of events Camille, Anna, Devu and I also performed a dance. Indian people LOVE when foreigners do Indian things so the day before they asked us to perform something. Luckily we have learned a few dances together for a Rotary Conference. Our song had absolutely nothing to do with a wedding or family but just the fact that we tried means a lot to Indian people and they are happy with anything we do. We performed Chikini Chemmele which is about a girl going to a club to get money and alcohol, and we performed Chammak Chalo which is Akon purposing for some girl to be his sexy little dancer. They were both very sexy and a little like belly dancing, so we felt very strange to wildly swing our hips in front of a crowd of predominately 80 year old old-fashioned Indian people. It was a very strange experience to belly dance for a hundred elderly Indians but it is a good memory. People really enjoyed it and asked us to do it again so we must not have offended anyone too much. It was definitely one of the more awkward things that I’ve done, but it’s an experience and that’s what I came here for!

Day 4- Ganesh Sthapna and wedding ceremony!!!

The first ceremony of this day is in the morning. The mama (mom’s brother) on both sides wake up the bride and groom early in the morning to perform Pithi. Pithi means the family covers the bride or groom to be with turmeric. Turmeric is supposed to give the skin a beautiful glow for the wedding day. I am not sure it works but it makes the bride and groom look like oompa lompas and therefore it is great fun.

The next big ceremony is Ganesh Sthapna.  It is a Ganesh pooja (prayer) that invites Ganesh to the wedding because Ganesh is supposed to be a part of anything that is good or happy. Inside this pooja (prayer) there is another pooja called Grashanta. Grasanta is the pooja to bring peace to the house the newlyweds will stay in. Grashanta literally translates to house peace.

As part of the Grashata pooja the mama (mom’s brother) gives the bride and groom the clothes that they will wear for the wedding. In more traditional times the mama chose the clothes for the wedding but now the bride and groom choose their clothes and then give it to the mama to present to them on this day.

LAGAN!!!!!! (The wedding ceremony)

The wedding party meet the groom at his house put him in a horse and carriage and then dance their way to the wedding destination. This ceremony is specific to only the groom’s side. My friends and I got to participate in this and it was very fun. I have seen many of these processions that are very awkward looking because everyone is in front of the beautiful horse and carriage and there are speakers blaring music but no one is dancing. Usually there is that one person at the front who tries to energize the crowd but it doesn’t work, but the one I was at was very lively. Everyone was dancing and bursting fireworks. When the groom arrives at the ceremony he is carried out of his carriage by all of his friends and then there is some more dancing. I have heard that at many weddings there is a tradition where the bride’s family who is already at the wedding is not supposed to allow the groom’s family to enter the ceremony grounds. In the very traditional days the bride’s family made the groom’s family pay before they were allowed inside. However at this wedding it did not happen. The bride and groom enter the ceremony together but the groom has more special traditions. The mother of the bride symbolically tries to blow the groom’s nose and the groom’s family is not supposed to let her. This supposed to be the groom’s family telling the bride’s family that their son is not part of her family. I think most people are aware that after marriage the girl is no longer part of her family. She has no duty to her natural parents anymore. This is the main reason why there is still a horrible problem with baby girls being murdered by their family. This is very not common among the upper class but it is still normal in the economically depressed. This is why it is illegal to have a doctor tell an expecting mother the sex of her baby. In this ceremony it is a fun thing, but the original meaning is very negative. After this ceremony the bride and groom are ushered onto the stage to perform the ceremony by the priest.  A priest makes a special fire on stage and the couple walks around it seven times while the priest chants in Sanskrit. It is our equivalent to “Do you take your pride to have and to hold through better and worse…..” No one is aware what the translation from Sanskrit is. The groom put a Mangal Sutva on the bride which is a necklace to signify the bride’s marital status.  The groom then puts sindur powder in the bride’s hairline which is another symbol of marital status. Women are supposed to continue to put this sindur powder every day, but few do. The last ceremony is Hast Melap. Hast means hand and melap mens meeting. There is a cloth over the bride and groom’s hands and they hold hands for the first time. I am sure in modern times it is not the first time they touched, but by traditional standards the bride and groom were not supposed to touch before they were married. The cloth is put over the hands because long ago it was unacceptable to see a man and a woman holding hands. After this all the ceremonies are complete and the couple is married!

This is Devu my best Indian friend whom I would be lost without playing Dandya :) 

Our mendhai!

Pithi

also Pithi

dancing in the street before the wedding

the mother of the bride blowing the groom's nose.

the wedding couple

the reception party workers. They were so beautiful!

I look like a giant in India :P

This is how the food for the wedding is prepared.

Hindu Wedding Part I

Now is my chance! `I am getting the opportunity to take part in every day of a Hindu wedding!!!!! Yesterday began the official ceremonies. It was an informal meeting of all the family of both sides at the groom’s house. Together we all made little balls of vadi which after drying will be made into a sabji (vegetable dish) for us all to share. My friend explained to me that in very ancient times when people were very poor they  did this ceremony with the family because it was not in the budget to take people out to eat. Basically it was supposed to be a nice treat. Everyone from the bride’s side is also supposed to bring the groom something sweet like chocolates because it brings good fortune to the couple.  We ate a nice lunch and then the first ceremony was complete! This was not the most important day this simply kicked off the festivities. Now there is no ceremony for two days. Next there will be a dancing ceremony, a mendhai ceremony and a reception! And don’t worry I will add a lot of pictures! Jai Shree Krishna.

Decisions Decisions!

I now have to choose my return date. I am so conflicted about this. I think I will come back for my graduation on June 1^st but that is so soon! Now my schedule is very busy. I am going on my North Tour from February 11^th until Mach 1^st and then two days later I leave for another week for a tour of Gujarat (my state). For two weeks of April I am going on a trip with my best friend and her family to Kolkata. Then for one week in May I am visiting Thailand for a Rotary convention and then a week and a half later I am thinking about leaving! That really only leaves March for me to do things in Surat with my college! I feel like I haven’t learned half of the things that I needed to! I don’t have yoga, dance, I haven’t gotten my future read and I am HORRIBLE with the language. I still feel like there is so much left here for me, but I think no matter how much time I have here I will always feel this way. I will never feel that I am finished here. The important thing for me to remember is that I did not come here to learn about yoga, mendhai or astrology. I came here to learn about myself. I made a million mistakes here. My year was far from perfect. I don’t have perfect relations with all of my families. I cannot communicate on a basic level with Hindi or Gujarati, and I still know very little about Indian religions. But when I think back to the first couple of months when it was too difficult for me to cross the street and I cried almost every day  because I was being harassed by men on the street I can see how far I have come and how much I have changed. If I had to go home tomorrow I will still say that I had a successful exchange. I would not change any mistake I made because those mistakes made me who I am. I am so proud of the woman I have become here. I will forget about mendhai and dance within a year but India will have everlasting effects on my character. My exchange doesn’t really end when I leave India. I will always be an exchange student. I will draw observations from this year for the rest of my life. Readjustment to American culture is a vital part of the exchange too, and it’s difficult. I am as nervous to return as I was to come here. It’s like I can never go home again. My home is the same, but I am very different. After everything I did this year I know that I can handle anything life throws at me. I am ready for the challenge! But it’s not time for this yet! I still have 4 months left! It’s time to live it up! I am still designing things in my college and I still have all of India to travel! This is no time for tears! I’ve got a life to live! Jai Shree Krishna

Kutch

The government of Gujarat sponsored all 15 exchange students to go the Rann of Kutch Desert Festival last week.  It was a great way to kick off the New  Year! Unfortunately I was recovering from a wicked virus, but as long as I am with other exchange students everything is perfect! The government of Gujarat only allows for people to come to this specific part of the desert once a year. The culture of this place is rich and beautiful. It is still very primitive but since the earthquake in 2000 it is slowly developing.  By far the most captivating thing I saw was the “White” Desert. It is located very close to the boarder of Pakistan and India (very unfriendly neighbors). It was the most peculiar sight to be driving down a stretch of hot sandy desert and then drive into what appeared to be Antarctica. Under this desert lies what once were the shores of the Arabian Sea. Because of this a centimeter layer of pure salt rises to the top and forms a crust that despite the heat can easily be mistaken for ice. At night when the sun is softly setting and the white glow of the moon takes its place the desert looks like heaven.  A soft peaceful white abyss is the only thing for kilometers around you. The sky and earth are completely obscured. It looks as if one followed the light from the sun he would stumble upon the Pearly Gates of Heaven.  Or maybe it is purgatory….. In the morning it is the opposite. When the fiery deep orange sun clashes against the faux icy surface it looks like hell. I could have only imagined such a landscape in a painting by Salvador Dali.  In Man in the Landscape Paul Shepard wrote:

“The desert is the environment of revelation, genetically and physiologically alien, sensorily austere, esthetically abstract, historically inimical…..To the desert go prophets and  hermits;  through deserts go pilgrims and exiles. Here the leaders of the great religions have sought the therapeutic and spiritual values of retreat, not to escape but to find reality.”

The power of this desert is undeniable. I regret not having the opportunity to spend more time in it. I would have relished a whole day in that desert to walk and journal my thoughts. I am luckier than most to at least have a glimpse. However we did other fun things. We visited a few small villages where they displayed their traditional crafts. We visited a modern Indian palace. We went to the Arabian Sea where we rode on camels and horses then drank coconuts. Both nights we were at this festival there were special performances done by locals. I never mentioned it in my blog but for the district conference on Christmas the IYE students gave a big performance for all the Rotarians. In this performance were two dances; one traditional and one Bollywood. Even though we were not scheduled or asked to we gave a performance of both of these dances to the other tourists in Kutch. Indian people really appreciate when foreigners embrace their culture, and the dance is so fun! We are making a music video of our Bollywood dance.  We spontaneously perform this dance in strange places for example the desert and the Taj Mahal and at the end of our journey we will compress the best clips into one video.  I think this video will be epic! I promise to show you all as soon as it is finished ^^  In a few days is a kite festival known as Uttarayan.  The origin of the festival is based in astrology. On January 14^th and 15^th the sun starts to move north which marks the start of Indian “winter”. It is celebrated by everyone coming outside to eat, fly kites and have kite “wars”. A kite war is when one person tries to cut another person’s kite down with their kite string. This does not seem plausible with American kites but in India the string is actually made from stretched glass……that’s pretty hardcore! I cut my hands just trying to fly the kite! I will tell you more about the festival after I have celebrated. Until  then. Namaste.

Pictures are worth 1,000 words...

Coconuts in Goa with Georg!

                       My best friend and I on the beaches of Goa.

                                                      We had an accident.....but everyone is good!

                                                                     house boats!

Elephant ride in Kerala!!!!!!

                                                             Welcome to the Jungle!

Messing around in a tea farm!

We helped the fisherman in Munnar

I SAW A LION!!!!!!!

Photo bombed by a camel.

Dancing with a tribe of native africans who were brought by the British and are now Gujaratis.

So much fun!

My new mom and dad ^^

DIWALI and fireorks!

Diwali Fireworks

Nicest cow I've ever met =D In India cows behave like our dogs. I wanted to take him home! 

Rajastani food

Traditional dance attire for our district confrence presentation.

My Indian Christmas!

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EVERYTHING

It has been almost two months since I last updated my blog. Since the first week of my time in India a family of fire ants had found their way into my computer and made it their home ever since. Because of this many of the keys on my keyboard were affected including the spacebar which makes it very difficult to write. It would be impossible for me to catch you up on all of the things happening in the last few months. So I’m going to give you a quick recap on EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!

I quit my high school and have joined a school for fashion design. I went on a tour of the south with all the other exchange students and I switched to my second family!

FASHION SCHOOL- My first school was not horrible but it was a complete waste of time.25% of the time the teachers did not even come and when they did they only yelled at the students. No one learned anything. !!The good thing about that school was that all 5 exchange student from my city went to that school. On the days that we actually went to school we cut class together to sit on the roof of the school eat wada pau and talk about anything for 5 hours. At the time these memories did not seem awesome but now they are so funny! I do miss hanging out with all of my Indian friends though.

                My new school is very cool. I was never interested in fashion in my life but it is interesting to be learning fashion design in the textile capital of the world. My school is not as structured and does not move as fast as a western college but my teachers are very friendly and flexible.  I am focusing on embroidery and stitching clothes.

THE SOUTH TOUR- The best 15 days of my life. I already forgot what we did but that is not what was important. I made a new family.  If you have been around other exchange students you would know very well how deep this bond is. I will try to explain to you. Exchange students are the most special people you will ever meet in your life (I am not just saying that because I am one ^^).  It takes a special person to give up everything that they know and immerse themselves in a completely new culture for one year. Going on exchange is a big challenge and unless you are in our shoes you cannot understand what we are going through emotionally and physically.  We are all very different from each other and if it were not for this exchange we would probably not all be friends but just thinking this makes me cry! I feel as if I have known them for years when in reality it has only been 5 months. It is hard for me to imagine living without them. We have shared the best the worst and most difficult year of or lives together. They are the best friends that I will ever have!

Bollyood Music!!!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6FteXhp7MZY
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSsSM2IR2LY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf-EJv9HlNQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9DQINKZxWE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gst2UTzz0pk

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcKtDXUb6Cg

Technical Difficulties

Dear readers,
I have not forgotten about this blog but my computer is not working properly (I will explain later in detail). My computer will be fixed within the next week so you can check back in then. I have so much to tell you all! I am going on a Rotary trip for 15 days and when I come back everrything will be good again. Talk to you then! =D Namaste.

PLAN B

For many different reasons switching to Gujarati  Medium is not  going to work because even in Gujarati medium I would not be completely immersed in the language because people can still speak a little English. I decided go somewhere where no one can speak to me in ANY language. From now on I am going to an experimental school for the deaf so that I can learn sign language! I am not a student I am going there to observe and interact with the students. The students are so amazing because even though they cannot speak they are incredibly intelligent and capable. They are probably more intelligent than most “normal” people are because they have had to work so much harder to get to the same place. They are able to do everything that a “normal” person can. I went to a Key Club convention last year and there was a motivational speaker who spoke about what it means to be handicapped. He was born without legs and everyone’s obvious reaction to that was “OMG I feel so sorry for you. That is horrible, I could not imagine growing up that way, your life must be so difficult.” He said that there is no reason to feel bad for anyone with a handicap. A handicap is anything that makes you different.  We are all handicapped in some way. He said there are thousands of “normal” people walking around on legs that are more handicapped than he was. I feel the same way about the students at this school. There are all going to be perfectly fine and live normal lives. I do not want people to think that I am a saint or anything like that for going to a school for the deaf in my free time. I also do not want anyone to think that the deaf students are my charity case because they are my friends. In the end I am sure they will teach me more than I can ever teach them. I will still do my best to learn Hindi but it is going to have to be from the books….unfortunately. There is little hope of me even becoming semi-fluent in Hindi because I have less than one year here and because I am never going to be immersed in it, but I can promise that I will give it my absolute best! It will not be the end of the world if I do not learn Hindi or Gujarati perfectly because learning a language is not the ONLY point of exchange. There are so many things to experience. However, learning languages is one of my passions. I did not expect to come to India to learn sign language while speaking English, but it works!

Navratri

Navrati literally means nine nights in Sanskrit. This festival is in honor of the goddess Ambaji. For nine days the goddess fights against the evil in the world. On the tenth day called Dessera. Ambaji wins against evil and people symbolically burn the Lord Ravana, the ten-headed god who is the representation of evil. However this is primarily this is a dancing festival. Everyone gets into special traditional dresses called Chanya Cholies and gets together with many people in their society and dance gharba (a traditional Indian dance which I have also learned) around an idol of Ambaji. The festival starts after 9:00pm and usually finishes around 2:00 in the morning. It is a beautiful festival. I am not much a fan of organized dance because I have a hard time following what everyone else is doing (the story of my life) but I am in love this festival. People dance with intense passion that I have never seen before. It really looks like some people are dancing for their last breath. I am sad that I will never be able to experience another Navratri because it was a beautiful and inspiring experience. I am not religious in any way, but it really felt like we were destroying evil somehow. Maybe not within the world but within ourselves. When you are dancing with 2,000 in one small area with the same purpose in a small way it feels like your soul is set free from everything bad because there are 1,999 other people with the same problems as you. Your soul is set free and the only thing left to do is dance out all of your life’s passions and problems. Yes it is horribly crowded and horribly sweaty and I wore the bottoms of my feet off but I could not care because I felt so free that it did not matter. This festival will be a memory that I will hold close to my heart for the rest of my life.

Me my Cami (exchange student from France) and her brother in our traditional clothes!

LANGUAGE

One of the most important and rewarding parts of exchange is learning a language. I am not doing very well in this department. Language is the reason I wanted to become an exchange student and after being here for over 2 months I could not conjugate a verb or make a proper sentence.  I am truly embarrassed by my language level. There is so much English in India. Almost everyone is fluent in English. People of the younger generations even think in English. Most Bollywood music is half in English. Television is often in English. Street signs and advertisements are written in English and Indians often watch American movies and listen to American music. I am not immersed in Gujarati or Hindi at all. Yes, everyone speaks Gujarati and Hindi but I am never forced to use their languages. I use Gujarati or Hindi whenever I know the word but most people find it ridiculous that I try to speak their language. When I tell people that I want to learn Gujarati or Hindi they tell me that it is very silly because they are “worthless” languages. My school is also taught in English. Against much opposition I have decided that I must switch to a school that is taught in Gujarati. Everyone except my friend from New York is convinced that I am crazy and it will be a complete waste of my time. Not many people are supportive of my decision, but I feel it is the right thing to do. I will kick myself if by the end of my exchange I cannot communicate fairly well in Gujarati, and it is insulting to go to a foreign country and speak your mother tongue. Many people in America speak Spanish but if a foreigner comes to America and tries to communicate in Spanish people are very offended. I am doing exactly this and I do not think that is okay.  To go to a school in Gujarati is the only chance I am going to have to be completely immersed in the language, and the only hope I have of learning. Unfortunately exchange students in India stop going to school in November because of festivals and trips. I do not have very much time in that school but it is better than what I am doing now. My school is pretty much a waste of time except for the friends I have made. One out of ten exchange students that come to India learn the language and that really scares me.  I know that it is possible to be that one and I will work very hard but I refuse to learn by studying through books. I came here to experience the culture not read about it. I understand that the English language is a huge part of Indian culture because of the British, but the native culture is also important. Even though sometimes I am very frustrated by all of the English here I have to be thankful for it in many ways. Indian culture is drastically different than any western culture and if no one could communicate and explain things to me I would be 100% lost right now. I am fairly lost even though I can communicate semi-fluently. I know I should not beat myself up too much because I am making every effort I can to learn the language. Things may not work out perfectly and I may not ever be fluent but there are so many other things to experience in India. I cannot let my lack of language immersion make me bitter towards my experience because there is a world of opportunities here. Language may not be in the cards for me but my life is not over. I still have a good 80 years left of living. I have plenty of time to go to Japan or the Philippines where there is not a word of English. I will make the best of the opportunities I am given here, even if that doesn’t include language. Other than the language I feel that I am adjusting to the culture well and I am really enjoying my time here. I am giving up on the language, but I am done beating myself up about something that is out of my control. I do not think switching to Gujarati Medium will solve my problem but it is a step in the right direction.